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Bias for action

@

@notsoslimshady

Definition

Just do something. Even if it’s completely misguided.

Example

"With our bias for action, we redesigned the homepage overnight. We are now waiting for users' bias for action to know how stupid that was.

MVP

@

NoWay

Definition

Full form: Minimum Vile Product

The bare minimum that can be called a “product” without everyone considering the whole thing a joke.

Example

Our MVP has two features: it starts , and sometimes, it stops.

Consulting

@

justanotherconman

Definition

A mystical service where experienced individuals use complex words to describe common sense solutions, often accompanied by hefty invoices and PowerPoint presentations.

Example

After three months of consulting, we've discovered that our sales will go up if we sell more.

Bandwidth

@

BoBo

Definition

Corporate slang for a person's capacity to handle more work, often stretched beyond realistic limits.

Example

Even though Karen's bandwidth is maxed out, management thinks she can squeeze in a 'quick' 40-hour project and complete within the next two days.

Very Agile

@

Definition

An excuse for the management to go batshit crazy and make people do random work.

Example

Manager: "I know yesterday we were focused on developing the new web platform, but today, in the spirit of being very agile, we're pivoting to creating an underwater basket weaving app. It's all about flexibility, team!"

Deliverables

@

PeeEEmm

Definition

Tangible items or services produced through the project, often spoken about as if they're mythical objects that will solve all problems upon their arrival.

Example

"The deliverables will be ready by Friday," he said, with the same optimism of someone promising that world peace and a unicorn are just around the corner.

Gantt Chart

@

Mr.No

Definition

A colorful and often overly optimistic timeline that suggests a project manager has tamed time itself.

Example

PM: Hey Everyone, I have just created the Gantt Chart for the upcoming project and...we are behind schedule.

Service Design

@

aMe

Definition

A mystical process where ordinary customer service is repackaged into a series of complex diagrams that make it look like you've deciphered the human condition.

Example

After our service design overhaul, calling our helpline will now take you on a journey through an interactive voice response that's been carefully crafted to simulate the five stages of grief.

Business Design

@

ItsaMe

Definition

A term used to make the process of making money sound like it has the finesse of painting the Mona Lisa, when it's often more like finger painting.

Example

"Our business design is robust, scalable, and holistic. We've even included a slide with a yin-yang symbol to show our commitment to balance and harmony between revenue and expenses."

Standup

@

InvisiblePM

Definition

A daily ritual where team members confess what they didn't finish yesterday, promise what they won't finish today, and learn about new things they won't have time to finish tomorrow.

Example

During the standup, John shared his ongoing saga with the bug that's been "almost fixed" for a week, while the rest of the team mentally prepared their own versions of "I'm still working on it."

Growth Hacking

@

Nah

Definition

A fancy way to say increase your sales". Used by startups that want to sound cooler than they are.

Example

"We don't have a marketing budget, we have a growth hacker who will turn our social media accounts into a customer magnet with just viral memes."

Take Home Assignment

@

SideShowBlob

Definition

Screw the candidates time because we need to stroke our ego and get free labour.

Example

Round 2

The hiring manager used "Take Home Assignment"

IT IS A CRITICAL HIT !!

~The candidate fainted~

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